Everyone Is Going To Leave Me Alone: Autumnals Mixtape

(pictured below: a piece from Chad Wys’s Nocturne series)

wys nocturne

After struggling for the past two and half years, I quit my job and have been temporarily “on the run.” I had a short stint with Caldera then undertook a second internship at Headands Center For The Arts. Before leaving I told people, “I’m going to go to Headlands for two months to work, write, walk around in the woods and everyone is going to leave me alone.”

Unlike many instances of my life, my reality has met my expectations. And it’s been beautiful. I’ve been living an isolated and peaceful existence over the past month, immersing myself in many things I’ve neglected or wanted to revisit: Jean Stein and George Plimpton’s Edie (as well as anything Sedgwick-related- see here and here), Jeffrey Eugenides’ The Marriage Plot, HBO’s Game Of Thrones and various tapes and DVDs of silent comedians and avant-garde films. But of course music has been a part of that experience too. It can be an ineffable way of mapping your time, giving you a sense of feeling and space long after you’ve heard it.

I’ve been compiling what I’m listening to under a playlist named “headlands” or “autumnals.” I suppose it keeps with the uncomfortable but intriguing feeling of the lo-fi and bedtime mixes, like a late-night radio broadcast from behind the moon or some kind of inner space a listener would be unfamiliar with. I like that sort of thing, and for some reason this collection reminded me of Jeff Mangum’s online compilations. You never know what to expect.

I realize that this is the third time I’ve done a random list. I’ve always found it strange that I do them at all. I shy away from playing my music in front of people and kind of equate it to taking off your clothes or something. When I was younger I often didn’t listen to what others were into, and throughout my life I’ve had people walk into rooms where I’m playing something and seem disgusted or make fun of it. Some have even loudly announced, “What the fuck is this? Turn it off.” It always hurts my feelings, since music is such an irreplaceable part of my life.

And yet here I am, sharing this online. Here goes:

Download the “Autumnals” playlist here (via Box)

1) Ulf Bästlein – “Wandrers Nachtlied II Op. 96 No. D. 768” (from Schubert: Goethe Lieder, Vol. 1, 2000)
2) Perfume Genius – “Gninrael” (fan-made, 2012)
3) Godspeed You! Black Emperor – “Sleep (Edit)” (from Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas To Heaven, 2007)
4) Beck – “Defriended” (self-released, 2013)
5) Connie Francis – “Tammy” (lifted from Clay Jeter’s Jess + Moss, 2011)
6) Perfume Genius – “Stuff Behind My Neck” (self-released, 2007)
7) Crystal Castles – “She Fell Out” (self-released, 2007)
8) Luciano Berio – “Thema – Omaggio A Joyce” (from Acousmatrix – History Of Electronic Music VII: Berio – Maderna, 1991)
9) Cinzia Barbagelata & Orchestra Aglaia – “Violin Concerto In A Minor, BWV 1041 – Andante” (from Bach: Concerti Per Violino, 2004)
10) Jónsi & Alex – “Boy 1904” (from Riceboy Sleeps, 2009)
11) Perfume Genius – “The Bells Of St. Mary’s” (self-released, 2012)

* Note: track 2 is a fan-made reversal of Hadreas’ title track, “Learning.”


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