Rewriting Game Of Thrones – Season Two

(Rewriting GoT is now a series, click here for other entries.)

game of thrones (season 2)

(Spoilers Ahead)

It’s a statement of fact that Game Of Thrones is a good show.  It just is.  I mean, there were a few scenes I could do without (like this– but apparently a lot of people hated that), but hell- it’s just well done.  The second season of a show is usually where things go awry, but this is one of those rare exceptions.

Also, Peter Dinklage is the top billed actor on this show? That just makes things all the better. He is the only actor to appear in all ten episodes, and that’s because the audience will shrivel up and die without him. The guy’s a powerhouse. It kind of irritates me that people are just getting wind of this now. I’ve been like, “This guy has been rocking it since 2003.” Of course, my mom- who is way cooler than me- was quick to correct me: “Actually, he’s been rocking it since 1995.” Then she made me watch Living In Oblivion.

Look how far he has come. The guy is Tyrion Lannister. Without further ado, my mini-reviews await.

– – –

Game Of Thrones – Season Two:

Episode One: “In Which King Joffrey Kills A Bunch Of Babies.”

Of course, he doesn’t do this himself. That’s too messy. At this point I’m sure that every viewer watching this show wants him dead (I mean, I do) but I get the feeling he’s just getting warmed up.

And then this happens:

The incest just won’t stop. A man who has sex with the daughters of his daughters of his daughters and kills his sons? Sometimes George R.R. Martin and I are on the same page when it comes to creating evil/annoying people. I have the feeling someone is going to put a sword through his skull.

– – –

Episode Two: “Holy Shit, There Are Going To Be Pirates On This Show.”

I am awaiting Salladhor Saan’s return, as weird as he is. Did he simply disappear from this show?

– – –

Episode Three: “Lord Tyrion Pwns Everyone.”


It’s a hard life being the Hand Of The King. Just ask Ned Stark. But Tyrion Lannister is good at it. So good at it. Watching him play Pycelle, Varys, Baelish and Cersei at the same time was hilarious, especially when everything came crashing down. He’s just so fucking smart.

– – –

Episode Four: “I Never Thought I’d Be Relieved To See Tywin Lannister.”

Seriously, his arrival in this episode put an end to some unbelievable human suffering. It was kind of weird. Then he makes an absolutely stupid decision: employing Arya Stark as his cupbearer. Of course he doesn’t know who she really is. Or that she wants him dead.

I’m trying to imagine this guy being killed by a twelve-year-old girl. I don’t think it will happen, but that would be pretty insane.

– – –

Episode Five: I Have Nothing To Say About This Episode.

I actually don’t. It was mostly a set-up before the dreadful slap-down that followed.

– – –

Episode Six: “I Had The Feeling That I Wouldn’t Like Alfie Allen At All. I Was Right.”


This was the first time I got emotional while watching this show. There was something about the death of Ser Rodrik that got to me. It could have been Bran and Rickon screaming for it to stop while it was happening. Everyone knows how I feel about kids. Or maybe it was because Ser Rodrik reminds me of some badass men I’ve known during my life. It would be hard to see them go like this. I could only hope to be as brave when getting murdered in such a pointless way. “I’m off to see your father,” he tells the boys. Jesus, what an exit.

I can’t talk about this without mentioning Theon Greyjoy’s turn for the moronic worst. I kept staring at Alfie Allen’s face and thinking, “Your character is so terrible. I hope your sister writes a song about this.”

– – –

Episode Seven: “What? Wait- what? What?”

That’s what I kept saying after this episode ended. I was like, “What did my eyes just see?”

burned bodies 01

burned bodies 02

I immediately called Greyjoy’s bluff. Why? Because this show is cruel enough to show it going down. The first episode depicted infanticide and the massacre of small boys through King’s Landing.

– – –

Episode Eight: “Cersei Is A Bitch”

game of thrones (cersei)

It’s been interesting to watch Cersei’s descent into full-blown alcoholism (it continues over the last two episodes). The only problem is the more she drinks, the more of a terrible person she becomes. And she’s vocal about it.

Also, could people lay off Ros for a while? That poor girl has had enough terrible shit happen to her this season.

– – –

Episode Nine: “I Will Forever Remember This Episode As The One Where Peter Dinklage Destroys A Bunch Of Ships… With His Mind”

His character actually doesn’t enjoy watching it happen, which makes me admire him all the more. It made him conflicted. It made him human. But still, that feat was incredible.

– – –

Episode Ten: “(Just About) Everything Sucks”

A lot of things are left up in the air, of course. For the most part no one is entirely comfortable with their situation. I’d say the most content of the bunch is Daenerys, having been reunited with her kidnapped dragons.

The worst off of the bunch is Sam, who was left with all of this shit going on around him:

I said, “Good-bye Sam.”


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