Not Fassinating: My Thoughts On Hex (2004 – 2005)

So I’m only writing this because Amy told me to. Yes, Amy, you’re probably reading this right now and being like, “Hell yeah you’re writing this for me, bitch. Fingers be typin’ and shit.”

To explain the situation to everyone else: tonight Amy, Lauren and I sat down to watch Hex, a British television show that… is dumb. Also, the only reason we were watching it is because Michael Fassbender shows up as some creepy professor who tries to impregnate students or something. That’s what we consider “entertainment.”

Instead we watched a bunch of meandering scenes with terrible dialogue and no Fassbender (well, except for some long shots where he is wearing guyliner and looks rapey). This prompted us to yell “Fassy!” a lot. No, seriously. I think we ended up saying or shouting “Fassy” at least 600 times in the course of three hours.

We only watched two episodes and we almost died. Amy and Lauren are going to watch more. I’m considering watching more but I might also watch paint dry with porno music playing in the background. That’s about how entertaining Hex is to me.

So there Amy, I wrote a review. Now go watch Fish Tank.


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